Honoring Wedding Traditions From Around The World

Before getting into today’s blog post I just wanted to include some thoughts on the heartbreaking events going on in the world right now. I stand with the Black community and support their fight to be respected, to be protected, and for their cause to be recognized. As for myself, I am taking the liberty to utilize this time not only to donate to worthy causes, sign petitions that are making a difference but also to unpack and learn what it truly means to be an ally to my black friends. I am learning and growing and will not stop until a real change has been actualized, and strongly encourage those around me to do so as well. Here is a link with so many resources to learn from for any readers that would like to learn more: https://blmsites.carrd.co

Now, back to our regularly scheduled programming:

After some research into wedding traditions across the globe, below are some that I found particularly interesting, and how I would honor the heritage of clients. (Disclaimer: many of these traditions are described in a heterosexual manner, but are not intended to disclude other sexual orientations, they can easily be revised to accommodate other types of couples :) )

Fiji

In ancient Fiji tradition, marriage not only symbolized the union of two individuals, but also the orchestrated relationship that was created between two clans. Although in modern times arranged marriages don’t occur, these traditions stem from them.

When an individual from a different province wanted to express his desire to ask for his bride’s hand in marriage, Fijian tradition states that he should travel to the bride’s father with an entourage and an offering of ‘tabua’, whales teeth.

Each family has a ‘mata’, which are spokespeople who meet first to introduce the intention of the meeting before the two groups engage. Once a formal speech outlining the details of the marriage called a ‘Na vakasavu i tukutuku’ is presented, the bride’s family may accept the ‘tabua’ offering and the engagement or reject it by offering their own ‘tabua’.

Once accepted, the host’s family cooks a feast called ‘mataqali buta’, and announce the date of the wedding, which traditionally, would be the first time the couple would ever meet.

A classic church ceremony is termed ‘vakamau’, which calls for the couple to dress in ornate and tropical outfits. Traditional wedding fare at the celebration includes ‘kava’, which is an essential drink at a Fijian marriage celebration. The beverage is made from brewing the crushed roots of the ‘kava’ plant and is served ceremonially. This drinking ritual includes guests sitting on the floor, clapping before and after drinking the beverage, and finishing the drink in one continuous sip without spilling.

If I ever was approached with the opportunity to plan a modern version of the traditional Fijian wedding, I would absolutely be delighted. On invitations, I would detail the history behind the ‘vakamau’, and align the theme to a classy-tropical feel. In addition, if the families desired an authentic ceremony, I would seek out authentic headdresses or accessories. Unless the families insist on having guests sit on the floor for the ‘kava’ ceremony, I would have the guests based on their table numbers stand in lines to honor the sacred moment. If it appeals to the couple and their families, I would also encourage them to hire a brief traditional Fijian performance for guests to really feel exposed to the culture and tradition as well. Here are some visual inspirations I found that I would try to emulate:

Greece

Throughout my research into Greek weddings, I found the type of church to be married in for Greek couples is very important. Often times, a Greek Orthodox church is the preferable option, which does not allow for great personalization of the ceremony. The first notable highlight of a Greek wedding is that the best man and maid of honor must be members of the orthodox church, and are the ‘Koumbaro and Koumbara’ to the couple. These sponsors are the couple’s close friends who are to be guides and confidantes throughout the marriage. Non-orthodox friends are welcome to be part of the wedding party but are unable to assume the traditional guiding role.

In Greece, the bride’s arrival is heavily anticipated, and guests crowd outside the church to wait for her to come, arm in arm with her father. In the United States, often guests are already seated in the church when she arrives. The service begins with the lighting of candles and the joining of hands. “The wedding consists of two parts: the Service of Betrothal and the Service of the Crowning. The latter consists of five sections: The Prayers; The Crowning; Readings from Scripture; The Common Cup; and the Dance of Isaiah. Signifying the Holy Trinity (God the Father, Christ the Son, and the Holy Spirit), rituals in the sacrament are done three times.” (brides.com) The priest then blesses the couple’s rings three times and places them on the right hand of the bride and the groom, which represents virtue. Lastly, the Koumbaro exchanges the rings between the couple three times to signify that their lives are now forever intertwined.

During the reception, Greek dancing is infamous for being exuberant and filled with energy. The bands balance paying respect to tradition and the couple’s roots while also incorporating modern music in as well. A highlight of the celebration is the “showering” of the couple in money by tossing it all over them as they are dancing near the guest’s tables.

In the end, wedding favors come in the form of Koufeta, which are white sugar-coated almonds. The white represents purity, and the egg shape represents fertility and new life. Fun fact, these treats always come in odd numbers because they are seen as indivisible, much like the new marriage that was celebrated that day.

I would be so excited to be able to experience a Greek wedding. Many of the details seem to be already set once the church is finalized, and throughout the reception, the design and theme would most likely be up to the couple’s tastes. Yet, here are some inspiration that I would implement when planning a Greek Wedding:

India

I have found that a traditional Indian wedding lasts a whole three days! On the first night, an informal reception called ‘Ganesh Pooja’ is held for the families of the bride and groom to meet and socialize. On the second day, the women of the family gather for ‘Mehndi’, which is the traditional application of henna paste in beautiful patterns across the bride’s hands and feet, as well as her female friends and family. That evening, a ‘sangeet ceremony’ is performed by friends who dance for the couple while family and guests enjoy dinner and mingle.

Before guests arrive, a ‘mandap’ is constructed using four pillars, which represent each of the four parents of the bride and groom. Once the ceremonies begin, the groom’s arrival is called the ‘baraat’, which traditionally consists of him riding in on a white horse and being escorted to the ‘mandap’. Then, the bride walks down the aisle, and the couple exchanges a floral garland to wear and show acceptance of one another.

Under the ‘mandap’ there is a fire that calls to the Hindu god Agni to provide the marriage with a long life. The couple walks around the fire four times to honor morality, prosperity, personal gratification, and spirituality. The priest or ‘pandit’ chants verses as they circle the fire that officially ties the two individuals together in the eyes of the gods. Once their fourth cycle is complete the couple is officially wed and must rush to their seats. Legend says that whoever sits first is the more dominant in the marriage. The groom proceeds to place red ‘kum kum powder’ on the bride’s forehead and places a ‘mangalsutra’ (a necklace made of black and gold beads) around her neck. It is after this step, that wedding bands are exchanged.

Once all rituals are complete the reception may begin! Indian weddings are notorious for being lively and vibrant. Although there are many similarities with western culture as far as the schedule of the reception, guests and family dance the ‘bhangra’, a traditional folk dance to celebrate.

I have been to an Indian wedding, and it was phenomenal. Such a celebration of love and life that pays respect to ancestors is an amazing event to experience. Here are ways I would use as inspiration to honor these traditions if I were to aid in planning an Indian wedding: